Growth
by RatherRiddikulus
Summary: Ginny’s reflection on how things are and have been with Hermione. OneShot. FemalexFemale Relationship.


**Growth**

By RatherRiddikulus

**Summary:** Ginny's reflection on how things are and have been with Hermione.

**Warning:** FemalexFemale relationship.

**Disclaimer: **I obviously don't own _Harry Potter_ or anything of that sort.

**A.N.:** Feel free to skip this, I'm just trying to justify my actions I suppose. This is just a little one-shot that popped into my head. The first sentence appeared and I wrote a paragraph, which turned into a sort of HermionexGinny ordeal. I usually stay away from first person and lean towards past tense and the lack of dialog will give me nightmares. This is play on my style I suppose since I apparently hate all my others this is my newest attempt. I'm not sure about the writing, I tried to dumb it down I suppose because I wanted it to be pure as if they were just the thoughts that rolled out of Ginny's head as it is her perspective it is told from. I think the subtext of Hermione's character stays intact other for the fact that she's well, gay, but I completely manipulated Ginny's character as she really isn't a fully developed character I believed in the book. There's just too much to be left to interpretation. I'm not sure how this story will be taken, if it's just boring and the simple humor isn't like then I'll know but I think it's supposed to say more by what's not being said. This is a simple read but I doubt it will be enjoyed by just a casual reader or someone not very adept to a more subtle reading that I suppose I'm trying to imitate. Well, I'm done with this note for here before it becomes lengthier then my actual story. I hope you enjoy.

**---**

Our first time, God, it was a nightmare. It was awkward, rushed and even painful; a borderline disaster. The only reason I hush away from outright saying that it was a disaster is because our next time was even worse. It's tough when you're never really told how it's done when it's like this. All that's ever talked about is the more traditional aspect of sex, two girls together isn't exactly in a normal teenaged conversation.

We endured though, she said because she loved me so much she was willing to try a thousand times to make it better. In my mind I probably wasn't ready for more then another go or so before I swore sex off for the rest of my life. My pigheadedness was the one that made me try another few rounds. Oh lucky me.

Eventually we found a rhythm of sorts and the painful part wore out and we were too focused to get awkward so along the line it became real sex I suppose. And the first time it was actually good sex I think I was too proud of myself to remember to love her and do all the romantic things that I had planned in my head. Not a big deal because she didn't seem to feel to far from the same as me.

---

When we came out we didn't know what we had on our hands. The questions from people never bothered me like it did her, but the constant reassurance of acceptance did, unlike it did her. Just sort of left a bad taste in my mouth, like it reminded me of when I was littler and tried to convince my mum I had eaten my greens at lunch when I really threw it out. Maybe I was wrong because she never took it as more then support.

Mainly the questions didn't bother me is because I wasn't the one to answer most of the questions, you see, I'm no good with words. But I tried because after the while the wear on her became visible even to a stump like me, so I tried to help. I only stopped because I saw it put on even more of a strain for her trying to cover for my mishaps then deal with it herself.

I heard some people ask her why she chose me and I somehow never really caught the answer. It's too bad too because I honestly on occasions still wonder the same thing but am too afraid to ask. She's a brain, you'd never figure her to go for the dim pretty type or more of the slow athletic type in my case I suppose. I'm not gonna complain though, it's a waste of time, and if I have to rely on my body for her I can live with that.

The "why choose her" question seemed popular even for me too. I suppose maybe they think someone simple just simply goes for someone simple too. I also sometimes got the feeling that they were asking why I liked girls in general and not just her, like I had any clue. All I ever did was give the same answer because it's that only thing that made sense to me in my head, "Why not her?"

This was all true, the why not that is. I really like her head, all full of smarts and whatnot. She's pretty too, not like a knock out or anything, but pretty in a common way. I'm not sure if that's mean to say so I never did, but by my thoughts she suits me just fine and like I said, I don't really need the pretty stupid type like me. She is through and through the smart type and I'm glad that's what I got in her.

---

We first really got to talking when she helped me with some homework. I thought it was just the cutest thing in the world how she already knew all my questions and all my answers but wanted me to get it too. If she would have just gave me the answers out right we would have spent nearly a fraction of the time together so I suppose it worked out in the end.

This all sounds a bit odd to me. I'm not I used her for my homework, that's just how things worked out. She taught me a lot of things and saved my ass in school.

---

Kissing her I would consider my favorite pass-time. Even in the beginning, unlike the sex, it was an adventure. I had already kissed guys and that was a completely different experience. Not that they were bad or anything, just different. Like steak and pork, both are good, just different and in the end I liked one more then the other. Not that the other one wasn't as good, just not my preference.

With kissing her, I wasn't sure what to expect, but I was totally thrown for a loop when I found out she had never been kissed before when I was willing to bet all of the few possessions I owned that she had at least with this one guy in particular. I had to use the limited knowledge I had with guys and show it to her with my actions. But I think she taught me a lot more then I ever expected.

The guys I've been with cut to the chase more or less and I just figured that's just how it was with most people. Come to think of it, maybe our first kiss wasn't as fun for her as it was for me; when I came right at her with tongue she let out a scream. I'm not counting that as our first kiss because nothing really happened after that little interruption still nothing happened until she hollered at me to stop apologizing.

She was a lot more assertive after that little scene, all fired up from the emotions. When I went in again (without tongue) she returned my kiss and pressed me back so I had to take a step back and she crashed into me. I got really excited around this time; I'd never had this kind of power in a kiss, more like just a force before.

I was really caught off guard when she was the one to slip her tongue in my mouth. I got her back next time though by slipping my hand up her shirt. I was so happy when she didn't scream, only let out a little squeal but still let me do it.

---

I found out I really do love her when were almost separated. I don't know what my hesitation was before for admitting I love her, I guess I never really believed that this kind of love was a real thing. I know because even as simple as my mind is, I physically can't imagine my life without her.

Not in the dreamy romantic sort of way, but in the cold realistic way that when I start to think that, or the thought flashed through my mind like that one time, my brain literally comes to a halt and doesn't function properly as if it cannot compute what that would mean, it just can't be an option or something. As far as I'm concerned, something that heavy on your mind, for the good or bad, must be a strong emotion and loves what comes to mind.

Life hasn't always been the easiest for anybody during these times and we were just kids caught in the crosshairs. Through all the battles I'm not sure if I was almost killed or if, God forbid, she was. I cant really remember because my state of mind wasn't exactly right when the thought crossed my mind, all I know is that we both lived and that these thoughts lead me to believe I love her.

---

Someday we'll get hitched and have a kid or two, not the natural way of course. It took some convincing on my part to agree but I think she finally sees my point. Having a whole litter of kids is kinda just the flow my family tends takes and I've always wanted that. She's an only child and was a bit chilly to the idea.

Now after all this time together she must have decided along the way that she loves me too, I don't know when if it was the same time as me or not. The point is she loves me now too and we're a family and I told her the next logical step is to have a kid. I only told her it was logical is because that's what her brain runs on. I doubt she ever bought that for an instant, just taking a look at my family shows that kids aren't logical. But I don't run off logic like she do, I go on pure heart and that's what a family is: heart.

Since we've been together I think every day I think I convert her a little more and more away from logic to heart because she's got a big one and I love that about her. That and her brain and things. I've seen her with kids, she can't hide from me she loves them, she's just afraid of them too. It'll be a riot when we get our hands on a baby and the screams and terror run her life. I'm used to that with older brother's always crying out so it can't be too bad.

She'll be a great mum or dad or parent thing. I'm still not sure after all this time how the labels go but that's not a matter. We'll be so happy together in a family. Next on my agenda is to convince her of the logic it is to have a pup for a baby to grow up together with.

---

**A.N.:** Sorry, yes I have another one of these polluting this fanfiction. I'm not trying to beg for a review here, but as this was a trial I would like to hear your feedback, positives and negatives please. A healthy amount of both is ideal. Also, any spelling, grammar, punctuation, and overall coherence errors please bring to my attention. Thank you.


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